How ‘Nice Guys’ show their interest
In adulthood, ‘nice guys’ (or Pantsless Bears) tend to use the same strategy for picking up women that they used when they were 7, by unashamedly confessing to a woman that they ‘like’ them. Through a lack the social sense, the Pantsless Bear will usually make this confession in the most inappropriate situation and such confessions usually occur at work, baptisms, funerals, intensive care units and brothels.
The woman, usually married, is typically shocked when her Pantsless Bear co-worker, after re-configuring the login details on her desktop, stands awkwardly in the door frame of her office and tell her he ‘likes’ her and would like to ‘have lunch with her’ sometime. Having rehearsed this scenario in his mind on a thousand bus trips to and from work, the Pantsless Bear believes that the following will likely occur:
– Woman will smile, look down at her keyboard, then look back up say ‘I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you for a long time.’
– Woman will close the blinds to her office and say ‘why don’t we have lunch in here.’
– Woman will break down in tears of joy.
– Woman will immediately undress Unfortunately, if 200,000 years of human history have taught us anything, it’s that the above scenarios have never been known to occur outside of film, television and dramatic theatre. After building up the courage to confess that he ‘likes’ a woman from work, the following situations are most likely to result.
– Woman smiles awkwardly, avoiding eye contact, looks down at her phone, the agrees to go to lunch with Pantsless Bear. Pantsless Bear leaves office satisfied, whispers an enthusiastic ‘yes’ to himself in the hallway, then never hears from the woman again.
– Woman thanks Pantsless Bear for the flattering comments and tells him she’d love to have lunch with him. After Pantsless Bear leaves her office, woman contacts HR. Pantsless Bear is immediately transferred to India.
– Woman tells Pantsless Bear she’s booked out for the next 365 lunches, but would otherwise love to go. Pantsless Bear leaves office satisfied, reminding himself that she’d ‘love to have lunch’ with him, but due to her own circumstances, is unable to do so at the moment. He blames the corporate lifestyle for getting in the way of their love and decides to wait until the end of the year and make his next move at the Christmas party. The next day, Pantsless Bear is transferred to India.