The Straw that Breaks the Bear’s Back
A common theme that has emerged from many of the frustrated daters (male and female) we have spoken to, or received threats from, is that there is often one final failed seduction that sends them to the point where they:
- quit trying;
- start a satirical dating blog; or
- join ISIS.
You would think that the thing that sends them over the edge would be a self-esteem crushing, existential crisis inducing betrayal along the lines of the mother of your four kids sleeping with your best friend or the father of your four kids having another child with your sister. The intriguing thing, however, is that it far more often involves a relationship that simply never gets off the ground, even in the case where the aggrieved dater has previously had relative success. Specifically, the reported existential meltdowns often come from males who never consummate the relationship with their intended.
From what we can work out, weeks worth of expensive dates and gifts resulting in a ‘you’re a great guy but I don’t want to ruin our friendship’ (or LJBF, which is the term in the pickup community and, reportedly, also the ISIS radio code for ‘suicide attack’) is far more likely to send our poor daters into anxiety ridden oblivion than a four year relationship breakdown. In the event there is no LJBF and the aggrieved dater simply stops receiving responses to texts or no-shows on dates (also known as a ‘flake’, which coincidentally is ISIS radio code for the apocalypse) the impact on our dater can be even worse.
Keeping this in mind, given the popularity of our recent psychologist guest appearances, including our blog on Mindfulness and Dating, we will be posting some further blogs, which will feature our guest shrink, to discuss various coping strategies for the anxiety caused by dating. Keep your eyes open for them Bears!