Things to do after you’ve been dumped
Getting dumped is a terrible experience, you think you’re the only one in the world experiencing this pain and that nobody could possibly understand. Thankfully about 2 billion people understand how you feel. The most important way to handle being dumped is to do something that you couldn’t have possibly done with your ex. You want to make sure that you can look back and say, ‘I’m so glad Rachel broke up with me, otherwise I’d never have achieved x.’ If you continue to live the same way then you’ll remain in the same miserable place. Pursuing something unique so you can look back and be glad they dumped you is the key piece of advice in this article. You must do this.
The first thing you should do is:
- Delete your ex from all social media accounts
- Delete their phone number and erase their text messages
- Decide to make no contact with them whatsoever. This is extremely important especially during the grieving phase, which can last for up to a month. If they want to come over and drop off your possessions, tell them you’ll either get them another time or let them go. Leave the underwear and socks. It’s better to have your sanity.
- Get rid of any reminders of your ex that might be lying around your house.
The next thing you need to do is:
- Something different, something completely different. A break up is the perfect opportunity for something like this. Go and pursue a passion that you’ve always wanted to pursue. Learn violin, start a rock band, travel the world, return to university etc. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re doing something. The point is to make sure you can look back on the break up as a positive moment in your life. This is the one thing that most recently dumped individuals don’t do. They tend to sit around feeling sorry for themselves for months on end (sometimes years and many times for the remainder of their natural life), pining over their exes, wishing their life was exactly as it was before and thinking endlessly about what they did wrong and how they should have changed the situation or seen it coming. Sometimes they even start a dating blog with a humorous name, writing long articles about relationships to try and understand their own feelings and pathetic behaviours. This doesn’t achieve anything. It’s pure self-indulgence.
- Another thing that recently dumped people do is sleep with as many people as they can (or try to), utilising apps like Tinder (a haven for the recently dumped) and online sites like Eharmony (a haven for the recently divorced) or Adult Matchmaker (a haven for the recently paroled). This provides short term validation, but the problem with having sex with desperate people on these sites is that they don’t usually match up to the ex, which makes the recently dumped person miss their ex even more than they did previously.
Meeting people is very important after a relationship, which we’ll discuss in a further post, but the one thing you can do if you find yourself recently dumped is change something about yourself and pursue something you’ve always wanted to do, aside from sex with strangers.