Who Killed The Pickup Artist?
When Neil Strauss released The Game ten years ago, pickup artists (PUAs) came out of the woodwork and every down-on-his-luck failed male dater (or AFC) started burning bandwidth researching negs, boyfriend destroyers and openers into the wee hours of the morning. Now, the PUA movement has retreated. Where the hell did all the PUAs go? All of a sudden, many of the major players in the PUA game have moved onto ‘charm’ and ‘self improvement’. Strauss’ own website is now focused on ‘being a better man’.
There was always a fundamental flaw that was going to get in the way of PUA becoming truly mainstream (notwithstanding that Mystery got his own cable show): sociopaths. There’s nothing wrong with guys learning tips to be better with women. If a guy is striking out badly on girls and just wants to learn how to put his best foot forward then that’s actually good for both sexes. There are plenty of guys out there who are hopeless with women but are decent people with good personalities, great jobs and a stable mental state. Giving these guys the tools to approach women in a way that doesn’t drive them away means they get past their frustrations and, for the women, the dating pool opens up with dudes that are worth their time. The problem is that these guys weren’t the ones lapping up PUA. The socially inept nutters were.
PUA started to focus purely on scoring as many shags/lays/bonks/f*cks as one could using what were essentially pre-learned behaviours. If your goal is just banging as many women as you can without worrying about what is special or endearing about them, and that’s how you judge yourself, you’re just a misogynist. Strauss himself noted that the guys who got into the community feared women because ultimately women are the ones who decide how successful you’re going to be and to be rejected is to fail at your only goal. The inevitable result was that the men in the field started to hate women, or men who hated women already because of prior rejections suddenly had tools that would allow them to make out with girls in bars and then brag about what ‘sluts’ they were to their equally vicious mates in an online forum.
One of the staples of PUA was working on your ‘inner game’ – how you view yourself. All of a sudden, it became cool for these guys to boast in front of a room of 50 virgins wearing boas and LED light belts, who have paid $350 for the privilege of being there, that when they meet women, they forcefully ‘put her face on my dick’ because they’re so ‘alpha male’. The focus was entirely on male sexual gratification and not on what is in it for women.
Unsurprisingly, prominent members of the PUA community subsequently:
- were run out of a country (proud to see Australia leading the charge on this one);
- accused of rape; and
- shot a girl in the face.
Pretty soon it became clear that getting into the PUA community was less cool than it was previously.
We aren’t entirely anti-PUA. We’ve come across some cool PUA coaches while running this blog and, as stated above, see the benefits of teaching guys a bit about the art of seducing women. We are just as critical of guys who wine and dine and generally lovebomb girls in the hope of sleeping with them. If your goal is just to meet some single women and have some fun, good luck to you. If you do it in the hope of being able to screw them and boast about what tarts they are to your over-masturbated brothers online, then you’re a dick.
For further reading, see How To Spot A Pickup Artist In A Bar.