10 Ways To Tell If a Woman Is Insane
This article is for entertainment purposes only. If you believe a woman you’re dating is clinically insane, then seek medical assistance immediately.
No we’re not talking about women suffering from psychiatric illnesses. This post is about ‘socially’ insane women and I became inspired to write it after a girl I kissed last weekend messaged me 127 times in 4 hours. I’ve also dated more insane women than sane women in my life so I consider myself an expert in the field.
A relationship with an insane woman can be toxic and can eradicate your own sense of well being quickly. You’ll meet a girl, she’ll be nice, you’ll commit to some kind of relationship with her, then her craziness will be revealed. By that time you’ll feel it’s too late to leave the relationship.
As a guy, you don’t ever want to be that guy with the crazy girlfriend who all your buddies laugh at behind your back and all your female friends avoid. Insane women are different to insane men. If you don’t know what an insane man is and you’re reading this blog, then I encourage you to read the 150 odd articles we’ve written about insane men.
Insane women are different and here are some signs to look out for when dating a woman to determine if she’s batshit crazy.
- She lies to and manipulates people. We’ll start with the big one. Insane women usually lack self-esteem and as we’ve written in previous posts, people with low self-esteem are dangerous. She’ll cause a great deal of destruction in your friendship group by bitching, spreading rumours and ignoring your female friends. Eventually her lies will unravel and you’ll confront her after a bunch of your pals tell you the things she’s been saying. She’ll break down in tears and explain to you that there’s a conspiracy in your friendship group and that everyone is ganging up on her because they miss hanging out with you and that they’re jealous that she gets you all to herself. This tactic is powerful, She’s telling you that your friends ‘hate her’ because you’re an amazing guy which will immediately disarm you by giving you feelings of well being and you become no longer confrontational. Once you’ve calmed down, she’ll gently massage your ego and convince you that your friends are out to get her.
- She yells at people on social media. If you read through her Facebook posts and realise that she tends to write massive rants yelling at celebrities, politicians and ex-boyfriends then you need to avoid her like the plague, despite how attractive she might be. For example: Beth: so my ex calls me today and wants to come over and I’m like F*** you, you can’t get your shit and he’s like well I’m going to anyway and then I locked the doors and called the police and they showed up and told me that I was exaggerating the situation and that my ex did nothing wrong OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE JUSTICE SYSTEM!! CAN”T THE POLICE ARREST THIS NUTJOB!!!’ This leads me to my next point.
- She constantly talks about her ex. So when you’re dating a girl and she constantly whines and complains about her ex-boyfriend being a ‘selfish dick’ and an ‘asshole’, you can be sure that he was probably an affable, down-to-earth guy like you who woke up to her and dumped her before it was too late.
- She writes lengthy left-leaning political tirades on social media. These are otherwise known as ‘left leaning morality rants’ using information pieced together from unverified left leaning articles and blog posts that her friends have shared on Twitter. Her rants will usually relate to refugees, genetically modified foods and/or vaccinations. For example: Adriana: so our stupid f***ing government doesn’t want to accept refugees from Syria. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! We need to drown every f***ing politician and their families. We need to burn their f***ing children! or Cassandra: YEH gr8 work Obama!! Keep bombing Iraq! That will help wont it. Not to mention that it’s been PROVEN that BIN LADEN HAD NO WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
- She refers to her father as a c***. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Run.
- She refers to her mother as a whore. Again, self-explanatory. Run.
- She has bizarre tattoos. There’s a difference between a butterfly on the ankle and a butterfly across the torso. There’s a difference between your dead mother’s name on your shoulder blade and your dead mother’s face across your entire back. To some people, tattoos mean a lot and are very personal. But to most people, they’re not. Tattoos can indicate impulsivity and a person’s lack of forward thinking. Put simply, they indicate that a person might be stupid. People get tattoos for a number of reasons but the main reason most (not all) people get tattoos is because their friends have tattoos. They go to Vegas, Bangkok, Dubai or some other tacky, cultureless swamp of consumer-culture and they imprint the first image they can conjure up in their creatively bankrupt, media-poisoned minds, or they simply flick through the ‘booklet’ at the front desk of the tattoo parlour and smile proudly as they point out the blue lotus flower or the coolest mandarin characters. When you’re dating a woman, observe her tattoos. They will say a lot more about her than her name in Japanese.
- She sends long text messages that go nowhere or make no sense. If you’ve just met her and she’s sending you convoluted essays whining about her day or telling you about people you don’t know or care about then you can be sure that she’s probably insane. For example, ‘Katie knows it cos I told her last week but she invited Sarah anyway. Anyway, when Sarah found out she was annoyed, I approached Dennis who hadn’t even spoken to Katie and he’s still with Amanda who is still sleeping with GLENN!!! OMG, cant you see how insane this whole situation is? Anyway, it was nice meeting you tonight, maybe we’ll catch up next week sometime lol.’
- She double parks, triple parks, and quadruple parks her text messages. If she piles a bunch of unreplied text messages on top of one another, then it’s probably time to look around for someone else.
- She laughs at REALLY dumb stuff. This goes for both men and women but it’s certainly something to look out for. You can tell she’s probably a little insane when you’re walking to the shops with her one day and you see an elderly lady fall from her walking frame. If instead of giving an empathetic concerned look she bursts into tears of laughter then you can be sure of two things. She has a low IQ (or is a rampaging sociopath with an abnormally high IQ) and she’s a massive bitch. Also, if she finds really badly written comedy funny, then she’s also insane. If you catch her laughing during The Hangover Part III or Two Broke Girls, then cut her loose.
I could literally go on forever, but I’m going to stop it here as my co-author has banned me from writing blog posts that exceed a thousand words (I’m already 200 over the limit).
Read this list again if you have to and remember.. it doesn’t matter how attractive she is, if she’s insane, she will also drive you to insanity.
Remember the Bear’s motto.
It’s never too late to dump an insane person.
I might get that tattooed on my lips in Cantonese.