When a narcissist gets thick

When a narcissist gets thick

This article follows our wildly successful article when a narcissist gets sick. Some of you may have run into (literally) a narcissist who’s either losing the battle of the bulge or winning the war again anorexia with extreme vigour. Yes, narcissists can be prone to rapid weight gain.

Naricissists exhibit their outwardly self loving behaviour as a way of shielding themselves from deep feelings of insecurity. This will often make them mass-consumers. They’ll buy anything to supplement their neatly crafted image of perfection – Armani suits, Longines watches, a new car every 12 months…whatever gives them that short term self-esteem hit that keeps them from falling into the abyss of self doubt. Unfortunately, some narcissists are also prone to literal mass consumption. A $90 pasta primavera from the top restaurant in town Instagrams better than a home made salad sandwich but has approximately 5x the calories (I assume, without having done a second or research).

The inevitable result is that their self-esteem gets a 90 second hit and their waist gets a nine-notch bulge. This will continue because narcissists are incapable of being self critical and will rationalise their gain as ‘filling out’ or poor camera work. People around them will tread on egg shells because narcissists will aggressively defend themselves and shoot the messenger in the same way the nazis did – they will keep firing bullets until they are sure every breath has left the body.

If you’re planning on letting a narcissist know they’re getting fat…well don’t unless you’re ready for the onslaught. But if you must, here are some hints for safer delivery:

  1. Offer them a green smoothie – nothing says ‘you’re fat’ like hinting someone indulge in a green smoothie but if they’re sufficiently deluded and can be convinced they taste nice (they taste shit) then the message might get through.
  2. Relentlessly comment on how good everyone else looks – narcissists cannot handle downward comparisons with others and will fight back by saying a someone told them recently they look like a model (a model Boeing 737 most likely). Don’t engage in the discussion either way and over time they might get it.
  3. Get them a free gym trial – gyms are often desperate and will often offer a free trial. Narcissists love telling everyone tales about winning stuff so tell them it’s a prize. Tell them they look great after each session.

As we’ve often said, narcissists are difficult to get through to and it’s better to simply avoid them. If you happen to be dating one or are related to one…avoid them. But if you can’t then good luck with these tips.