Signs You Married The Wrong Person
‘Why did I get married?’ is one of the most Googled questions of 2015. There’s a lot of people out there wondering why they signed up for a lifetime with the person they wake up next to every Godforsaken morning.
At the time most people get engaged, their partner still has a certain sheen around them. There’s still a hint of the honeymoon phase glow that prevents you from seeing the real them. They’ve still got their looks, they’re sociable and they make an effort. People change and it’s sometimes the case that they just aren’t the same a few years later. Here are a few signs you just married the wrong person.
They don’t like your friends
Once one is married, one assumes they have locked their spouse down for life and they let their guard down. They no longer feel the need to put up with the things they previously felt compelled to tolerate. Chief amongst these is their partner’s friendship group.
If all of a sudden your spouse stops putting effort in for your friends, it’s panic stations. Whereas previously they were content to sit at a bar they hate listening to your boring, depressing friends moan about their bad luck in love and life, they now trade it in for a night at home in their slippers or, even worse, with their parents. At best they’ll pick you up if you’re not too late.
Even worse – they actively try to stop you from seeing your friends. All of a sudden, you can’t attend a birthday barbecue because ‘you said we could go to the market that day’ or standard Tuesday night beers aren’t on anymore because that’s ‘our night’. You can rest assured this will only get worse.
They no longer care about their appearance
Time waits for no man. It’s natural to stack on a few pounds and dress in your tracksuit once in a while. It’s natural not to look as good at 35 as you did at 25 and it’s inevitable you won’t have the time to anyway. If, however, your spouse simply doesn’t care about their appearance at all, what this really says is that they no longer care about looking good for you.
We see it all the time – husbands who go from a Brad Pitt’s physique to Ron Jeremy’s (appendage not included) within 18 months of getting married or women who start eating like Pacman the second the bouquet has sentenced one of their friends to an equally intolerable domestic hell.
A modicum of effort short be expected on behalf of both parties from time to time.
They shift the goal posts
Some people will promise anything to get their other half down the aisle. Men will promise to mow the lawns every day and give up partying. Some women will promise kids within a few years or to change their surname. If they suddenly start backing out of promises the second they’ve got you trapped (particularly if they’re things you consider to be non-negotiables), then all they wanted was a ring and/or surname and your needs are not at the forefront of their minds.
Sometimes peoples’ priorities in life change and that’s to be expected. However, if they’ve enticed you into making a longterm commitment, only to change the rules once they’ve got it, they may not be the one for you.
You can’t have a laugh with them
Even life’s most unfunny people somehow manage to squeeze a laugh out of their other half once in a while. One of the great things about dating is being able to have a fun time together. If all of a sudden they can’t see the funny side to life and every day becomes about bills/careers/dinner dates with couples you hate/family commitments etc and you can’t stop for a chuckle along the way then you’ve picked the wrong person.
For those who think they’ve picked the wrong person, the Bear will be writing on the topic of Affairs and Divorce in the coming weeks.