Are you part of the wrong left?
Most educated people have a tendency to lean left in their opinions on matters of politics and society. This is because, broadly speaking, the left tends to offer an intelligent view of the world and espouses values of equality and fairness.
For many people however, political views become an issue of image. In many trendy, urban environments, it simply isn’t enough to just agree with leftist views – you must be an aggressive crusader. Many of these urban leftist people don’t necessarily agree with left politics but pretend to so they can be popular or get a girlfriend.
You may find this difficult to believe, but some people on the left are idiots. Don’t be one of them.
Here are some of the signs that you might be part of the ‘wrong left.’
1. You believe gender is a social construct
2. You firmly tell people to ‘stop talking now’ when they disagree with you.
3. You pat people on the head and say with condescension, ‘you’re adorable. idiots like you make me feel smart.’
5. You state that you believe in love and peace for all beings, yet you sit around cafes and bars with your friends bitching about everyone you hate.
6. You become deeply offended when one of your male colleagues at work describes the updated IT software as ‘gay’ by mistaking his immaturity for militant homophobia. You complain to Human Resources. He is fired.
8. You believe that the more emotional person will win any argument, therefore you’ll cry, abuse, berate and grandstand anyone who calmly disagrees with you.
9. You will use deeply offensive terms against your opponents in an argument. For example, you’ll accuse a friend of ‘xenophobia, bigotry and racism,’ when they comment that they prefer Malaysian food over Indian food.
10. You’re one of those people who openly and frequently says, ‘I’m one of those people who hates people.’
11. You believe poverty is a social construct.
12. You blame wars, conflicts and natural disasters on US foreign policy. For example, you will argue that the 2004 Tsunami was the direct result of US interventionism in East Asia.
13. You blame fluctuations in the world economy on US foreign policy.
14. You put your hands over your eyes and wince when someone says, ‘I think everyone in the world deserves freedom from oppression.’
15. You endlessly search for reasons to be offended.
16. You criticise young people for ‘obsessing about themselves and their lives’ and ‘spending all day on social media.’ Your comments get 113 likes and 7 retweets.
17. You blame climate change on US foreign policy.
18. You are willing to die in support of gay marriage, despite the ‘casual homophobic comments’ that you make in bars with your friends on Friday nights.
19. You campaign for women’s rights in the workplace yet you believe that it’s totally acceptable and justifiable for other cultures to stone women to death for adultery.
20. You believe cancer is a social construct
21. You take photos of your vegan, gluten-free, quinoa salad with the hashtag #cleanliving and #animalwelfare. You neglect to mention that the frames of your designer sunglasses are made from processed mammoth tusk
22. You retweet the ‘opinions’ of illiterate actors and singers
23. You believe that everyone on Wall St worships a giant owl
24. You believe that we should ‘respect’ the actions of oppressive militarist regimes
25. You get really angry, really quickly.
26. You blame your break up on US foreign policy.
I could go on, but you get the point. The wrong left have little understanding of international affairs and lack the empathy that most people have toward their fellow humans. These are the people who want to be offended and they love a white, privileged male target.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.