When your friend ‘isn’t happy with you’
So you make a joke and it upsets a friend.
Your friend, instead of approaching you with this problem will instead communicate to everyone else in the group that he is ‘not happy’ with you.
You won’t hear about this of course. Then, long, long time later, one of your drunk pals will quietly tell you that Glenn is annoyed with you about that joke you made about his ex-girlfriend on New Year’s Eve in 2011.
Your drunk pal will word it like this.
‘Don’t shoot the messenger, but Glenn isn’t happy with you.’
After shooting the messenger* you’ll pull out your phone and contact Glenn. He won’t reply.
You see, the modern male, out of a deep fear of confrontation, would rather tell people he’s upset with you than approach you directly. He’ll justify it to himself by saying, ‘I don’t want to create a big scene by bringing it up, I just want people to get along.’ However, he creates a far bigger problem by endlessly bitching about you behind your back, allowing his bitterness to grow and envelop his mind like moss. The person suffering is him, not you, and he’ll keep these fires burning in his mind for months, if not years. This kind of behaviour can enable other kinds of behaviour which can lead to a little illness called depression.
Bitterness and resentment are terrible poisons of the mind so the best way to deal with any conflict among friends is to deal with it immediately to prevent these afflictions from taking root.
You might like being pissed off, but in the end bitterness causes nothing but suffering to you.
*We’ll be writing a post in the coming days about one of mankind’s favourite pastimes – shooting the messenger.