How morons fix the problems in their lives
Many men, upon reaching the ripe age of 28, experience what’s commonly known as a ‘quarter-life crisis’ (or a third life crisis) They assess their life, realise that they’ve spent many of their best years languishing in a loveless relationship and a boring desk job and decide to make a change and ‘fix’ the problems in their lives.
To these men, the purpose of life is to:
1. Get married
2. Get promoted
3. Make sure all of your friends know that you’re married and recently promoted
This crisis can cause men to become self-important and self-righteous. This comes from a feeling that they need to escape from the boy and become a man.
Now, onto the signs.
You can be sure that you’re a moron if:
1. You fix your relationship problems by getting married
2. You fix your relationship problems by having children
3. You fix your financial problems by investing in terrible business ideas such as homogenised bonobo milk or
4. You fix your financial problems by starting a get-rich-quick business, such as an ‘internet marketing’ e-book or a satirical dating blog
5. You fix your financial problems by selling health products for a well-known a pyramid scheme such as YorHealh, HerbalLife or Nu Skin.
6. You fix your self-worth problems by encouraging your employer to hire your friend. On the condition that you are his ‘boss,’ you encourage your employer to hire your best friend, who has recently found himself single and unemployed. When he commences his role at your company, you spend your days ‘disciplining him,’ barking orders at him and publicly humiliating him in front of all the women in the office.
7. You fix your confidence problems by drinking to excess at inappropriate times. Instead of getting wasted at the Christmas party, you get wasted on Christmas Day and spew on your great aunt’s gluten-free caramel slice.
8. You fix your self-esteem problems by ‘purchasing’ a waterfront penthouse, courtesy of a hefty bank loan. With repayments totalling $3,000 pcm, you are forced to survive by rummaging through your neighbour’s bins in search of food scraps and depleted toothpaste tubes.
When many men find themselves in boring jobs and loveless relationships, they do the exact opposite of what they should be doing. Instead of leaving their partner, ditching their boring friends and changing their career, they further entrench themselves into this lifestyle on the belief that ‘things will improve.’ Unfortunately, things tend not to improve in these situations and men find themselves becoming bitter with their lives.
We’re not advocating changing your life completely, but if you’re unsatisfied with how life is going, the last thing you should do is commit yourself to a future of misery.